Musing on Sexuality

Whether you're doing it, talking about it, or thinking about it, sex -- not love or money -- makes the world go round. In fact, it lured more than 100 people to the American Museum of Natural History on February 3, where David Buss discussed "Why Humans Have Sex" as part of the institution's free monthly SciCafe series.



The evolutionary psychologist spent an hour talking about the role of sex in human evolution, starting with men in the Tiwi tribe viewing women as currency to boost their standing. (The more wives he had, the more revered he was in the community.) This observation set the tone for Buss to challenge the assumption among his peers that "men and women were identical in underlying sexual psychology." He pointed out that "females are more discerning when it comes to choosing a partner," citing factors like a sense of smell (body odor is a turn-off) and a sense of humor (nobody wants to be around a sourpuss).



Buss also used the concepts of Charles Darwin to address differences in one's mating choices. A short-term liaison (hookup) tends to focus on physical needs, while a long-term relationship (marriage) is about emotional fulfillment. According to Buss, this is why "women use sex to lure men into relationships" ... but such a motive can be perilous, especially when a woman uses pregnancy as a form of entrapment to keep him around.



The dark side of sex rears its ugly head in other ways. Buss spoke about intrasexual competition, which occurs when two (wo)men battle for the affections of a (wo)man. Poaching is a common byproduct of such conflict, which can lead to tragic consequences -- like the Betty Broderick case. (Another example is the Carolyn Warmus case.)



While Buss' presentation on sex was compelling, it was also an exercise in stating the obvious. It's no secret that men seek more partners than women in a life span -- like those in the Tiwi tribe, they want to cast a wide net for procreation. Likewise, men using visual cues to determine their attraction toward a woman isn't a revelation; in the animal kingdom, a peacock's desirability is based on how colorful its plumage is. Finally, when it comes to desirability, men and women use it to boost their self-esteem -- which, in the long run, is the most important quality in finding a mate.



If imparting common sense to the masses is what the museum considers "cutting edge," maybe humans aren't an evolved species after all.

Musing on Comedy

In the midst of a lousy economy and global suffering, it's hard to decide whether one should laugh or cry. I did the former at the New York Comedy Club on February 1.



For eleven dollars (a $5 cover charge and a $5 Sprite, plus $1 tip), I saw more than a dozen performers test their material over a two-hour period. Jeff Lawrence kicked things off by mining his dysfunctional family for laughs, while Andy Barnett -- who bore a physical resemblance to Jerry Seinfeld -- found humor in male-female relationships. As for the ladies, Lisa Haim scored laughs with her impersonation of an Indian woman at a call center, and Wendy closed the show with a dig at Tiger Woods.

Most of these comedians weren't "ready for prime time," but I was impressed with David Baker's routine, which touched on the possibility of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad being gay. I also enjoyed Buddy Flip's act, which involved ad-libbing jokes at the expense of three men in the audience. (He also doubled as the venue's bartender.) But the best part of the show was the audience interaction, which served as encouragement -- especially when it came to tossing fur balls at bad jokes.

Since I was the only Black female in the dimly lit room -- which consisted of less than 25 people, the majority of whom were performers -- there was no way I could avoid being a comic foil. When the host joked about Jay-Z sitting at the next table and how I must be Beyoncé, I reminded everyone that unlike the singer, my hair was real. I also had a nice comeback for another comedian whose joke about oral sex didn't come out right.



I applaud the comedians for their courage, for humor is subjective. I wish them well as they embark on their search for laughs.

Musing on Erotica

I like sex, and I like food, but I hate crowded spaces. Nevertheless, I found my "happy ending" at Happy Ending.



Both subjects were addressed in great detail at the "In the Flesh Erotic Reading Series" I attended on January 21. As one who appreciates the power of words -- and the allure of a good meal -- I hoped that hearing about the sexual exploits of other women would leave me hornier than a porn star and hungrier than a famine victim. Since both scenarios don't make for a good combination, I was able to avoid the former ... but not the latter.



Rachel Kramer Bussel, the curator and hostess of this free monthly event, provided complimentary hot dogs from Crif Dogs, cupcakes from Baked By Melissa, and plenty of snacks (including cookies and potato chips) to help attendees fight off hunger. But because the human population at the Chinatown venue outnumbered the food supply (and, by extension, wiggle room was limited), an "edible phallus" was my only energy boost for the night. The plain frankfurter tasted good, but it didn't measure up to standbys like Gray's Papaya. Perhaps it was because while I saved $2.75¢, I could go to the renowned hot dog stand and buy their "recession special" (two franks and a 14-ounce drink) for only $1.70¢ more.



On that note, Gray's Papaya was the starting point for Jenine Sanford Holmes to tell her story about an elderly man offering her $200 for cunniligus. Her recollection of this experience was hilarious because her fantasy hook-up involved Clive Owen, not a sexagenarian. I can relate to this because while sexual propositions by strangers may be tempting (depending on the individual), in all likelihood they'll lead to regret. This theory proved true for Rachael Parenta, who detailed the pitfalls of trying to have sex with a "friend with benefits" in the bathroom stall of an East Village bar.



The humor factor waned as the evening progressed, with Cathy Erway being the most boring of the group. Her poem lacked the element of surprise found in Yolanda Shoshana's presentation, and her story about using basil ice cream as an aphrodisiac failed to hold my interest. (It didn't help matters that she seemed unprepared.) However, Heather Whaley wrapped up the show with a tale that's all-too-familiar to single women: her worst date. It was the personification of Murphy's Law, for she ended up with a guy who spent too much time talking about his problems and not enough time mastering the art of pleasing a woman. (Footing the restaurant bill and paying for cab fare to his place should've been red flags not to sleep with him ... but, as Woody Allen once said, "the heart wants what the heart wants." Sigh!)



I had my heart set on winning the bottle of Love Potion #9 up for grabs at the reading, but I would've settled for a tube of Babeland flavored lubricant. (I had no use for an "eat me" thong.) But even though I went home empty-handed, I went home feeling better about myself -- with the help of two slices of Famous Famiglia pizza.

Musing on Dr. Ruth

Carrie Bradshaw has nothing on Dr. Ruth Westheimer.



The renowned psychologist delivered her take on "sex and the city" during a one-hour question-and-answer session at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in New York on December 9. The event drew more than 100 people, who spent up to $15 to hear her talk about human sexuality in all of its dimensions. (Museum members paid $10, while students and seniors were charged $12.)



A common thread throughout Dr. Ruth's responses to audience questions -- which were submitted online and in person -- is that fulfilling sex can only come from fulfilling relationships. The cornerstone for this is communication, which can be an aphrodisiac in its own right (e.g., dirty talk). And while she tipped her hat to the HBO series for helping society become more open about discussing the subject, she also reminded everyone there's a time and place for such conversation.



When asked about sex after the age of 50, Dr. Ruth recommended doing it in the morning, when a man's testosterone level is at its peak. She also pointed out that men need physical stimulation as they get older because their ability to have a psychogenic erection fades. (This arousal is derived from sexual thoughts that travel from the brain to the penis through the spinal cord, triggering an erection.) As for a woman's needs, she said their inability to have an orgasm is more common than one would think.



Dr. Ruth said one out of three American women has experienced difficulty in reaching a sexual climax at some point in her life, citing research by Alfred Kinsey and William Masters and Virginia Johnson. She stressed that women not only have to give themselves permission to feel desire, but they also have to teach men how to please them. Furthermore, she said women shouldn't get too comfortable with using a vibrator -- while it offers sexual pleasure without emotional attachment, it's no substitute for being with a man.



The evening ended with Dr. Ruth signing copies of her books -- including her autobiography, "All In a Lifetime" -- on sale in the museum foyer. While I learned a few tips for improving my sex life as I approach middle age, a lot of what she said was common sense. Nevertheless, her presentation was timely (especially in light of World AIDS Day, which is commemorated on December 1) ... and her expertise was invaluable.

Musing on Politics

Politics is a dirty business, but its workspace is also spotless. I saw this firsthand while visiting Tweed Courthouse and City Hall for their free tours.



When I worked my first summer job at Surrogate Court in 1991, I'd spend many lunch breaks eating on the steps of these buildings. It's only fitting that these structures bring back such fond memories because they contain so much history. Patricia, the volunteer docent at Tweed Courthouse, spent nearly two hours exploring its past during my time there on September 25 -- starting with its namesake, William Tweed. The former Tammany Hall boss used the project to embezzle millions of dollars over several years; he was tried and convicted in 1873 in one of its 30 courtrooms -- even though construction of the building wasn't completed until 1881.



Tweed Courthouse continued to serve as a legal clearinghouse until 1961, when it became a municipal office building; it's now home to the Department of Education, with a school occupying the first floor. Also located there is Roy Lichtenstein's "Element #E," which cuts through the rotunda and rises toward the skylight. The fiberglass sculpture of bold colors juxtaposed against the stone carvings of Greek and Roman architecture made for a spectacular view.



Speaking of art, City Hall is another architectural masterpiece. Charlie, the volunteer docent, spent nearly 90 minutes touring its grounds when I went there on September 30. Unlike Tweed Courthouse, visitors weren't allowed to take pictures inside, which is a shame. City Hall's keystone-cantilevered staircase conjured up images of a wedding, while the Governor's Room served as a museum for housing artifacts like Fiorello LaGuardia's table. (Its name is derived from the paintings of historical figures that adorn its walls, including John Jay and Morgan Lewis.)



The Council Chamber is where the wheels of democracy turn as its 51 members draft and approve legislation on issues ranging from land use to public safety. (It's also where the City Council overturned a voter referendum on term limits in 2008, casting a huge shadow over the November 3 mayoral election between incumbent Michael Bloomberg -- see photo below -- and challenger Bill Thompson.) This spacious area with exquisite furnishings and historic artwork has also served as a backdrop for drama, whether it's fictional (City Hall) or all-too-real (the assassination of James Davis).



Abraham Lincoln once said that government is "of the people, for the people, by the people" -- which is why more people should take advantage of seeing it at work.

Musing on Pickles

A parking lot on the Lower East Side -- the corner of Broome and Ludlow streets, to be exact -- isn't the first place that comes to mind when one has a taste for free pickles, but it's where I found myself for the ninth annual New York City International Pickle Day Festival on October 4.





My first stop was the Whole Foods Market tent, where I had deep-fried pickled okra with remoulade sauce. I was surprised at how good the vegetable tasted, and the sauce was zesty without being bitter. Other treats that awakened my palate were the pickle truffle from Roni-Sue's Chocolates and feta cheese from Saxelby Cheesemongers. The delicacy made for an unusually pleasing treat, while the cheese had a vinegar flavor that was smooth but not overpowering. However, culinary discoveries were outnumbered by edible disappointments, with samples from China Food Import leading the way.





The pickled turnip was so nasty until my body wouldn't allow me to digest it, and the Chinese pickled turnip didn't taste any better. To make matters worse, the lime pickle with matzo toast was so dry until I couldn't bring myself to eat the rest of it, and the pickled ginger was spicier than my taste buds could handle. I also wasn't impressed with the daikon (an Asian form of radish) from Mama O's Premium Kimchee or the People's Pickle from Rick's Picks. (But I did like the catchy names they had for their products, like Smokra and Phat Beets.)





Just as good food was hard to come by, so were delicious cocktails. Mattebella's Famiglia red wine (a combination of Merlot and Cabernet Franc) tasted like watered-down Robitussin, and Pumphouse's white wine (consisting of Chardonnay and other grape blends) was more bland than white bread. I ended up walking down the street to 88 Orchard for a Frozen 88, a beverage made of milk, espresso, caramel syrup, whipped cream, and two scoops of vanilla Il Laboratorio del Gelato. The $5.36¢ I paid for it was the smartest decision I made all day.





Some lines at the festival were longer than others ... but they all moved pretty fast -- much like the speed of life in New York. Unfortunately, that's the only good thing I can say about the event.

Musing on Oysters

The perfect recipe for a good time is food and liquor, and one event that offered both for free was the Grand Central Oyster Frenzy.



Oyster Bar and Restaurant was the place to be on October 3 as dozens of people gathered for the annual celebration of the mollusk. I watched the shucking contest, which involved ten professionals trying to shell the most oysters in two minutes. Two competitors who caught my eye were Deborah Pratt and John Bil; she was the only female in the race and he was the only one who didn't wear gloves. (Both of them were eliminated in the first round.) After the contest was whittled down to two people, defending champion Luis Iglesias faced off against Marco in the four-minute finale. Both men needed two trays to present their handiwork after time was up, but it was Luis who walked away with the $1,500 prize.





Realizing that I'd rather eat oysters than shuck them, I checked out cooking demonstrations by Aaron Bashy and Fabio Trabocchi. The Pershing Square chef used the bivalve to make soup with bread, while the Four Seasons chef mixed it with chopped greens and olive oil before having it topped with caviar and served on ice. I enjoyed both appetizers, but they're not dishes I'd eat on a regular basis. Perhaps they would've tasted better if I'd washed them down with alcohol.





On that note, a "beer shucking" contest was held to see who would be the first to open all the bottles in a case of Blue Point Toasted Lager. Ivan from Mexico (on the right) blew away the other nine competitors, opening 24 bottles in 33 seconds. His quickness was appreciated by the audience, who got to drink the beer. (I passed on the temptation, figuring it was better to stay sober for the eating contest.) The hostess, Shelli Sonstein of Q104.3, kept things moving by asking trivia questions about oysters and sports; I won an Oyster Bar and Restaurant apron for correctly guessing which player left the New Jersey Devils on October 1. (The answer was Brendan Shanahan.)





The oysters I ate earlier proved to be a disadvantage in preparing me for the eating contest. When I took the stage with the other twelve contestants to see who would be the first to finish their plate, I'd only managed to put three of them in my mouth before a winner was declared. Eloisa from Queens finished her plate in 13 seconds, landing her a Q104.3 t-shirt and gift certificate from the restaurant. I was happy to see a woman emerge victorious at the end of the day, especially since females were underrepresented at the event (as professionals and competitors).



Win or lose, the Oyster Frenzy was all about having fun. In New York, you can't ask for anything more.

Musing on Cuisine

Sunday mornings are usually associated with going to church, sleeping really late, or listening to Maroon 5. But at Williams-Sonoma, it's the perfect opportunity to take a free cooking class.



I joined nearly 30 other gastronomes at the Time Warner Center on September 20 to learn about "Bistro Suppers." (The upscale home furnishings chain also has stores located in Chelsea and on the Upper East Side.) While I didn't expect to emerge from the one-hour class as the next Julia Child, I figured it wouldn't hurt to get in touch with my inner chef. (Yes, I do have one!) The culinary expert, Mike, made for a charming guide as he talked about the history of food in France and showed us how to make flank steak and French fries -- a bistro staple -- from scratch.

He cut the Russet potatoes using a chopper, a mandoline, and a knife, putting the shredded vegetables in a bowl of water. He said this method helps removes the starch (hence the cloudy water). The potatoes were then placed in a deep fryer containing canola oil and cooked in two stages for around 15 minutes. As for the meat, he had that prepared beforehand, rubbed in steak au poivre paste and seasoned with peppercorn before cooking it for about 10 minutes on a Calphalon grill pan. He explained that its color on the inside -- red (rare), pink (medium), or brown (well-done) -- also plays a role in sealing in the flavors added to the outside.

At the end of the session, we got to sample Mike's handiwork. The steak was a little tough, but it still tasted good (especially with the Truffle French finishing sauce, which was made of Burgundy, shallots, chicken stock, demi-glace, and French black truffles) ... and the fries maintained their crispiness despite being kind of cold. My time in the store's kitchen has led me to consider taking more classes, including "Espresso, Cappuccino, or Coffee, Anyone?" (September 27), "Fresh Pasta" (October 4), and "Thanksgiving Desserts" (November 15 and 16).



If these complimentary courses aren't enough to whet your appetite, perhaps a free one-year subscription to Food & Wine magazine will do the trick. These ongoing offers are proof that fine cuisine doesn't have to be expensive.

Musing on Jazz

Jazz is the foundation on which American music exists. It gave birth to genres like the blues, rock 'n' roll, and even hip-hop ... and while these art forms dominate today's musical landscape, too many people remain ignorant about the music that started it all. Dizzy's Club Coca-Cola is one place where such tunes can be discovered -- and enjoyed -- for $20.



The Lincoln Center venue is hosting its annual Women in Jazz Festival through October 5, and one of the acts I went to see on September 15 was the Helen Sung Trio. Showing up early for the $10 after-hours set, which was supposed to start at 11 p.m., paid dividends in the form of catching Marian McPartland's encore performance. I was fortunate enough to see the legendary pianist entertain the audience with classics like "Straight, No Chaser" and "There'll Be Other Times," despite being seated near the entrance.



Dizzy's Club is designed so there isn't a bad seat in the house, and mellow acoustics and prompt service are its calling cards. Too bad that doesn't apply to the menu, for its cheapest items were salt peanuts and honey roasted nuts at $5 each. I ordered a dish of rosemary fries for $6 and used my Duane Reade Dollar Rewards Club Card to get a free glass of Cruzan vanilla rum and Coke (saving $10 in the process). The drink was sweeter than I thought it would be, going down easier than a swig of water on a hot summer day. As for the food, it tasted good ... but once the fries turned cold, they weren't edible. None of that mattered, though, once Sung and bandmates Richard Goods (bass) and Donald Edwards (drums) took the stage.



The trio kicked off their one-hour set around midnight with Jerome Kern's "All the Things You Are." Sung played the piano with such aplomb until I wondered if she was an old man trapped in a young woman's body, and her intensity could be heard in standards like Duke Ellington's "Everything But You" and Thelonious Monk's "Teo." Goods and Edwards made for a powerful rhythm section, seamlessly blending their instruments with Sung's fluid style of playing.



One month ago, I'd never heard of the Helen Sung Trio. Shame on me, for they deserve to be heard by as many people as possible (just like Charlie Hunter, another musician whose work I enjoy listening to). Being exposed to jazz on a regular basis -- and at an affordable price -- is one of the perks of living in New York. There's no excuse not to take advantage of that.

Musing on Words

If necessity is the mother of invention, one of mankind's greatest discoveries is the written word. Culture, history, and other life elements were given immortality thanks to tools like carving tablets and the printing press ... and the Brooklyn Book Festival is celebrating these things on September 13.



This all-day free event appeals to all ages, with a Children's Area and Youth Stoop at Borough Hall Plaza to engage kids in the joy of reading. But the best activities are geared toward adults: poetry aficionados can watch Sonia Sanchez perform a reading, hip-hop fans can listen to Lupe Fiasco dissect the use of language in music, and political observers can hear Amy Goodman track the evolution of alternative media. (Some events require a ticket for admission, which will be made available one hour beforehand.) Other presentations include a panel on satire, an analysis of the writer-editor relationship, and a screening of The Narrows.



After soaking up the knowledge shared by these (and many other) writers, you can learn more about the craft at Gotham Writers' Workshop. The school is offering 30 complimentary one-hour writing classes on September 15 and 16, with topics ranging from children's book writing to memoir writing. They serve as an opportunity to discover your voice and start you on the road to publication.



Putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) is one of the most empowering things you can do ... and while getting "a penny for your thoughts" is a good thing, it's the process that truly makes it worthwhile. Whether the audience is millions of people or for your eyes only, the power of the written word has a value that can't be measured in dollars and cents.

Musing on Documentaries

Going to the movies is an expensive endeavor, but good deals can be found -- if you know where to look. AMC Empire 25 and Cobble Hill Cinemas are two theaters where one can watch the latest films without ending up in the poorhouse, and two documentaries I saw on September 2 were It Might Get Loud and The September Issue.





Six dollars was the price I paid at the Times Square venue to see The September Issue, which offered an insider's glimpse into Vogue and the making of its largest issue. (In a neat twist, the theater is nearly two blocks from the headquarters of Condé Nast, which publishes the magazine. Even more ironic is the ticket price was only $1.01¢ more than a copy of the issue itself.) I took advantage of the A.M. Cinema program and attended the 11:20 a.m. screening with about a dozen other moviegoers. Observing Anna Wintour and her fellow fashionistas pour their energies into seven months of planning for this issue in 90 minutes' time gave me a greater appreciation for what they do -- even though I can't see myself working there.

I always sensed that Wintour wasn't the evil caricature portrayed in the media; she just plays into that stereotype because it keeps her name out there and adds to her legacy in the fashion world. While she may embrace the label of ice queen, The September Issue showed that she's mortal like everyone else. (If she was truly the boss from hell, she wouldn't have lasted two decades at her job -- I can't imagine any employee putting up with tyrannical behavior for that long.) Unfortunately, she's the bad cop to Grace Coddington's good cop, and this study in contrasts serves as the heart of the documentary. Coddington's story intrigued me because, unlike Wintour, she wielded her influence without appearing heavy-handed. Not only that, but as a former model, Coddington understood that fashion is an art form as well as a business.



Speaking of art, I went to see It Might Get Loud in Brooklyn. The venue sells $6.50¢ tickets for all showings before 5 p.m. on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (and all day Tuesdays and Thursdays), so I joined a handful of other moviegoers at the 3:20 p.m. screening. The documentary opens with Jack White building a makeshift guitar with wood, nails, strings, and a bottle, which sets the stage for he and fellow musicians Jimmy Page and the Edge to discuss the power of music and the instrument's iconic status for the next 97 minutes.

They explore the technical elements of crafting a song (U2's "Get On Your Boots" is an example) and share the paths they took to rock stardom. The Edge's story was the most compelling because he (and his bandmates) embodies the idealism of rock 'n' roll saving the world. I respected each man's contributions ... but I would've liked to have heard from other virtuosos, like Carlos Santana (or even a female guitarist, like Bonnie Raitt).



Movies can be a tool for capturing reality or a means of escaping it. It Might Get Loud and The September Issue pulled off both feats, but only one did it with style and grace -- no pun intended.