The renowned psychologist delivered her take on "sex and the city" during a one-hour question-and-answer session at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in New York on December 9. The event drew more than 100 people, who spent up to $15 to hear her talk about human sexuality in all of its dimensions. (Museum members paid $10, while students and seniors were charged $12.)
A common thread throughout Dr. Ruth's responses to audience questions -- which were submitted online and in person -- is that fulfilling sex can only come from fulfilling relationships. The cornerstone for this is communication, which can be an aphrodisiac in its own right (e.g., dirty talk). And while she tipped her hat to the HBO series for helping society become more open about discussing the subject, she also reminded everyone there's a time and place for such conversation.
When asked about sex after the age of 50, Dr. Ruth recommended doing it in the morning, when a man's testosterone level is at its peak. She also pointed out that men need physical stimulation as they get older because their ability to have a psychogenic erection fades. (This arousal is derived from sexual thoughts that travel from the brain to the penis through the spinal cord, triggering an erection.) As for a woman's needs, she said their inability to have an orgasm is more common than one would think.
Dr. Ruth said one out of three American women has experienced difficulty in reaching a sexual climax at some point in her life, citing research by Alfred Kinsey and William Masters and Virginia Johnson. She stressed that women not only have to give themselves permission to feel desire, but they also have to teach men how to please them. Furthermore, she said women shouldn't get too comfortable with using a vibrator -- while it offers sexual pleasure without emotional attachment, it's no substitute for being with a man.
The evening ended with Dr. Ruth signing copies of her books -- including her autobiography, "All In a Lifetime" -- on sale in the museum foyer. While I learned a few tips for improving my sex life as I approach middle age, a lot of what she said was common sense. Nevertheless, her presentation was timely (especially in light of World AIDS Day, which is commemorated on December 1) ... and her expertise was invaluable.
