Musing on Sexuality

Whether you're doing it, talking about it, or thinking about it, sex -- not love or money -- makes the world go round. In fact, it lured more than 100 people to the American Museum of Natural History on February 3, where David Buss discussed "Why Humans Have Sex" as part of the institution's free monthly SciCafe series.



The evolutionary psychologist spent an hour talking about the role of sex in human evolution, starting with men in the Tiwi tribe viewing women as currency to boost their standing. (The more wives he had, the more revered he was in the community.) This observation set the tone for Buss to challenge the assumption among his peers that "men and women were identical in underlying sexual psychology." He pointed out that "females are more discerning when it comes to choosing a partner," citing factors like a sense of smell (body odor is a turn-off) and a sense of humor (nobody wants to be around a sourpuss).



Buss also used the concepts of Charles Darwin to address differences in one's mating choices. A short-term liaison (hookup) tends to focus on physical needs, while a long-term relationship (marriage) is about emotional fulfillment. According to Buss, this is why "women use sex to lure men into relationships" ... but such a motive can be perilous, especially when a woman uses pregnancy as a form of entrapment to keep him around.



The dark side of sex rears its ugly head in other ways. Buss spoke about intrasexual competition, which occurs when two (wo)men battle for the affections of a (wo)man. Poaching is a common byproduct of such conflict, which can lead to tragic consequences -- like the Betty Broderick case. (Another example is the Carolyn Warmus case.)



While Buss' presentation on sex was compelling, it was also an exercise in stating the obvious. It's no secret that men seek more partners than women in a life span -- like those in the Tiwi tribe, they want to cast a wide net for procreation. Likewise, men using visual cues to determine their attraction toward a woman isn't a revelation; in the animal kingdom, a peacock's desirability is based on how colorful its plumage is. Finally, when it comes to desirability, men and women use it to boost their self-esteem -- which, in the long run, is the most important quality in finding a mate.



If imparting common sense to the masses is what the museum considers "cutting edge," maybe humans aren't an evolved species after all.

Musing on Comedy

In the midst of a lousy economy and global suffering, it's hard to decide whether one should laugh or cry. I did the former at the New York Comedy Club on February 1.



For eleven dollars (a $5 cover charge and a $5 Sprite, plus $1 tip), I saw more than a dozen performers test their material over a two-hour period. Jeff Lawrence kicked things off by mining his dysfunctional family for laughs, while Andy Barnett -- who bore a physical resemblance to Jerry Seinfeld -- found humor in male-female relationships. As for the ladies, Lisa Haim scored laughs with her impersonation of an Indian woman at a call center, and Wendy closed the show with a dig at Tiger Woods.

Most of these comedians weren't "ready for prime time," but I was impressed with David Baker's routine, which touched on the possibility of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad being gay. I also enjoyed Buddy Flip's act, which involved ad-libbing jokes at the expense of three men in the audience. (He also doubled as the venue's bartender.) But the best part of the show was the audience interaction, which served as encouragement -- especially when it came to tossing fur balls at bad jokes.

Since I was the only Black female in the dimly lit room -- which consisted of less than 25 people, the majority of whom were performers -- there was no way I could avoid being a comic foil. When the host joked about Jay-Z sitting at the next table and how I must be Beyoncé, I reminded everyone that unlike the singer, my hair was real. I also had a nice comeback for another comedian whose joke about oral sex didn't come out right.



I applaud the comedians for their courage, for humor is subjective. I wish them well as they embark on their search for laughs.

Musing on Erotica

I like sex, and I like food, but I hate crowded spaces. Nevertheless, I found my "happy ending" at Happy Ending.



Both subjects were addressed in great detail at the "In the Flesh Erotic Reading Series" I attended on January 21. As one who appreciates the power of words -- and the allure of a good meal -- I hoped that hearing about the sexual exploits of other women would leave me hornier than a porn star and hungrier than a famine victim. Since both scenarios don't make for a good combination, I was able to avoid the former ... but not the latter.



Rachel Kramer Bussel, the curator and hostess of this free monthly event, provided complimentary hot dogs from Crif Dogs, cupcakes from Baked By Melissa, and plenty of snacks (including cookies and potato chips) to help attendees fight off hunger. But because the human population at the Chinatown venue outnumbered the food supply (and, by extension, wiggle room was limited), an "edible phallus" was my only energy boost for the night. The plain frankfurter tasted good, but it didn't measure up to standbys like Gray's Papaya. Perhaps it was because while I saved $2.75¢, I could go to the renowned hot dog stand and buy their "recession special" (two franks and a 14-ounce drink) for only $1.70¢ more.



On that note, Gray's Papaya was the starting point for Jenine Sanford Holmes to tell her story about an elderly man offering her $200 for cunniligus. Her recollection of this experience was hilarious because her fantasy hook-up involved Clive Owen, not a sexagenarian. I can relate to this because while sexual propositions by strangers may be tempting (depending on the individual), in all likelihood they'll lead to regret. This theory proved true for Rachael Parenta, who detailed the pitfalls of trying to have sex with a "friend with benefits" in the bathroom stall of an East Village bar.



The humor factor waned as the evening progressed, with Cathy Erway being the most boring of the group. Her poem lacked the element of surprise found in Yolanda Shoshana's presentation, and her story about using basil ice cream as an aphrodisiac failed to hold my interest. (It didn't help matters that she seemed unprepared.) However, Heather Whaley wrapped up the show with a tale that's all-too-familiar to single women: her worst date. It was the personification of Murphy's Law, for she ended up with a guy who spent too much time talking about his problems and not enough time mastering the art of pleasing a woman. (Footing the restaurant bill and paying for cab fare to his place should've been red flags not to sleep with him ... but, as Woody Allen once said, "the heart wants what the heart wants." Sigh!)



I had my heart set on winning the bottle of Love Potion #9 up for grabs at the reading, but I would've settled for a tube of Babeland flavored lubricant. (I had no use for an "eat me" thong.) But even though I went home empty-handed, I went home feeling better about myself -- with the help of two slices of Famous Famiglia pizza.